Chapter 1
The knock on the door not only physically woke him, but it also stirred something inside his soul. Once he was fully cognizant of his whereabouts, he knew he couldn’t continue the path he was currently following.
“Hold on! I’ll be out in a minute!” he yelled through the locked bathroom door.
The curly-haired, middle-aged, strawberry-blond on the other side was quite puzzled at his voice. After all, he was in the women’s restroom. Before he opened the door, he hastily removed himself from the floor, retrieved his blue hard hat located just under the toilet, and looked in the mirror. The man in the looking glass with the bloodshot eyes was not the man his late mother and father would be proud to call their son.
Instead of contemplating how he managed to get to this point in his life, he placed his safety glasses on, and exited the rarely used women’s restroom. He said nothing as the strawberry-blond gave him a peculiar look when he walked out of his favorite hiding spot. He didn’t care what she thought or who she was, because quite simply, he hated his job with a passion.
Being an average industrial electrician at this particular corporate facility or any other world class organization didn’t exactly set his soul on fire. The pay was better than average, but it didn’t give him any satisfaction. In all sincerity, nothing excited him. For the remainder of the day, he didn’t initiate a conversation with another living soul. On most days, he just rolled with the punches, but in the back of his mind, he knew this day was different.
When he got home that afternoon, he slept. The nap he briefly enjoyed on the floor of the women’s restroom wasn’t nearly the rest he needed. His sleep was perpetually erratic, just as his thoughts often were, but one thing seemed to permeate the inner workings of his mind at almost every waking moment. He had an unmistakable feeling that he needed to find a female counterpart to give his life some sense of meaning. When he woke up from his much needed nap, he walked outside and gazed into the night sky.
Looking at the stars that first night of April, he wondered not only where she was, but also when their paths would cross. Could it be that she was looking at the same star that he had his eyes on? It had been some time since he had this anxious and undeniable feeling in his heart. Actually, it was rare that he felt anything other than disgust, or an occasional headache, or a heavy set of eyelids on his way home from work. However, on this April fool’s night, he knew that something or someone was around the corner.
Could she be the girl he saw at the store that he had not spoken with since high school? Could she be the occasional beautiful woman at the bar he often noticed sitting with her friends? Or could she be someone he had yet to meet? No one knew, and his worry was if he did meet her, how would he possibly know if she was the right one?
Only time could answer his mystery. He encountered a strong feeling for a certain woman years ago, but when she moved a hundred miles away and married a doctor, he undoubtedly knew she was not the right one. Would he know by the deep connection and the idle banter that turned minutes to hours? That couldn’t be, because the girl he shared these moments with hasn’t called in quite some time. Could it be that all the signs he was looking for were wrong? Could it be that the feeling he wished to find was nothing more than a perpetual goose chase with no ending? Only time could answer his quandary.
A life of solitude would drive a normal human being crazy, but his case was different. His imagination kept his mind racing on those certain hours when no one else was awake and everyone else had their own lives to live. In those times, he dreamed. He dreamed in the figurative sense of imagining surroundings that defied conventional thought, where sleep wasn't necessary, and work was for those who just wanted to have something to do. He saw politics as a rich man's game with the poor as his pawns, and he envisioned the truth as an elementary concept that was just one question away from being found. Yet, the one aspect of life that had always seemed to elude him was the feeling of love.
In his mind, love was a foreign concept that he envisioned he would eventually experience one day, but his logic told him that day would never exist. In his dreams, just after he closed his eyes to rest his weary mind was the only place his love would appear. Her face was different in each occurrence, but she was always beautiful. Her voice was soothing and tender, and her touch was something he longed to feel. He knew that in his dreams was where she lived and more than likely always would. Yet, in the back of his mind, he sincerely wanted the next woman he encountered to be the one in his unconscious visions. His logic told him that chasing a wild goose that more than likely didn’t exist would be quite the adventure, regardless of the outcome.
Outside of his imagination, finding his place in the world was what kept him focused. He didn't have what he desired, nor was he debt free, but he felt he was onto these things that had eluded him so far. He had dealt with the pains of the constantly changing world around him and the laments of taking a dead-end job seven years earlier, but he had a feeling something monumental was lurking in his future. Even though his feelings dictated his desires, he led the rest of his life based on facts and skepticism.
His relentless pursuit of the truth was one of the many subjects that kept his mind in motion. He left no question unanswered and no stone unturned. The analytical side of his personality was evident, because he never went by his first name nor did he want to be known by any ridiculous nickname. He strictly went by his last name, and that is exactly what everyone called him.
Thomas rarely appeared genuinely happy. He went through the motions of telling dirty jokes to his coworkers, making kids everywhere laugh, and helping out anyone old, young, black, white and everything in between, no matter where he went, while never telling a soul of his deeds. Even though on most occasions he tried to make everyone he encountered a little better by the time he went on his way, Thomas was growing increasingly distraught as each day passed. He questioned everything and rethought every aspect of life, down to the smallest detail. Every day there was a battle in his mind between his instinct and his logic. He had a tendency to follow his gut on most occasions, but all too often, it proved to be the wrong choice.
Since that all important April fool’s day, he began dating someone. He felt in his heart she was the right one, but the analytical facet of his personality made him question his feelings. No matter what he did, whether it was the little presents he gave her, the out-of-the-way trips to see her, or any compliment he gave her, he felt she was in his heart, but he was unsure if he was in hers.
The knock on the door not only physically woke him, but it also stirred something inside his soul. Once he was fully cognizant of his whereabouts, he knew he couldn’t continue the path he was currently following.
“Hold on! I’ll be out in a minute!” he yelled through the locked bathroom door.
The curly-haired, middle-aged, strawberry-blond on the other side was quite puzzled at his voice. After all, he was in the women’s restroom. Before he opened the door, he hastily removed himself from the floor, retrieved his blue hard hat located just under the toilet, and looked in the mirror. The man in the looking glass with the bloodshot eyes was not the man his late mother and father would be proud to call their son.
Instead of contemplating how he managed to get to this point in his life, he placed his safety glasses on, and exited the rarely used women’s restroom. He said nothing as the strawberry-blond gave him a peculiar look when he walked out of his favorite hiding spot. He didn’t care what she thought or who she was, because quite simply, he hated his job with a passion.
Being an average industrial electrician at this particular corporate facility or any other world class organization didn’t exactly set his soul on fire. The pay was better than average, but it didn’t give him any satisfaction. In all sincerity, nothing excited him. For the remainder of the day, he didn’t initiate a conversation with another living soul. On most days, he just rolled with the punches, but in the back of his mind, he knew this day was different.
When he got home that afternoon, he slept. The nap he briefly enjoyed on the floor of the women’s restroom wasn’t nearly the rest he needed. His sleep was perpetually erratic, just as his thoughts often were, but one thing seemed to permeate the inner workings of his mind at almost every waking moment. He had an unmistakable feeling that he needed to find a female counterpart to give his life some sense of meaning. When he woke up from his much needed nap, he walked outside and gazed into the night sky.
Looking at the stars that first night of April, he wondered not only where she was, but also when their paths would cross. Could it be that she was looking at the same star that he had his eyes on? It had been some time since he had this anxious and undeniable feeling in his heart. Actually, it was rare that he felt anything other than disgust, or an occasional headache, or a heavy set of eyelids on his way home from work. However, on this April fool’s night, he knew that something or someone was around the corner.
Could she be the girl he saw at the store that he had not spoken with since high school? Could she be the occasional beautiful woman at the bar he often noticed sitting with her friends? Or could she be someone he had yet to meet? No one knew, and his worry was if he did meet her, how would he possibly know if she was the right one?
Only time could answer his mystery. He encountered a strong feeling for a certain woman years ago, but when she moved a hundred miles away and married a doctor, he undoubtedly knew she was not the right one. Would he know by the deep connection and the idle banter that turned minutes to hours? That couldn’t be, because the girl he shared these moments with hasn’t called in quite some time. Could it be that all the signs he was looking for were wrong? Could it be that the feeling he wished to find was nothing more than a perpetual goose chase with no ending? Only time could answer his quandary.
A life of solitude would drive a normal human being crazy, but his case was different. His imagination kept his mind racing on those certain hours when no one else was awake and everyone else had their own lives to live. In those times, he dreamed. He dreamed in the figurative sense of imagining surroundings that defied conventional thought, where sleep wasn't necessary, and work was for those who just wanted to have something to do. He saw politics as a rich man's game with the poor as his pawns, and he envisioned the truth as an elementary concept that was just one question away from being found. Yet, the one aspect of life that had always seemed to elude him was the feeling of love.
In his mind, love was a foreign concept that he envisioned he would eventually experience one day, but his logic told him that day would never exist. In his dreams, just after he closed his eyes to rest his weary mind was the only place his love would appear. Her face was different in each occurrence, but she was always beautiful. Her voice was soothing and tender, and her touch was something he longed to feel. He knew that in his dreams was where she lived and more than likely always would. Yet, in the back of his mind, he sincerely wanted the next woman he encountered to be the one in his unconscious visions. His logic told him that chasing a wild goose that more than likely didn’t exist would be quite the adventure, regardless of the outcome.
Outside of his imagination, finding his place in the world was what kept him focused. He didn't have what he desired, nor was he debt free, but he felt he was onto these things that had eluded him so far. He had dealt with the pains of the constantly changing world around him and the laments of taking a dead-end job seven years earlier, but he had a feeling something monumental was lurking in his future. Even though his feelings dictated his desires, he led the rest of his life based on facts and skepticism.
His relentless pursuit of the truth was one of the many subjects that kept his mind in motion. He left no question unanswered and no stone unturned. The analytical side of his personality was evident, because he never went by his first name nor did he want to be known by any ridiculous nickname. He strictly went by his last name, and that is exactly what everyone called him.
Thomas rarely appeared genuinely happy. He went through the motions of telling dirty jokes to his coworkers, making kids everywhere laugh, and helping out anyone old, young, black, white and everything in between, no matter where he went, while never telling a soul of his deeds. Even though on most occasions he tried to make everyone he encountered a little better by the time he went on his way, Thomas was growing increasingly distraught as each day passed. He questioned everything and rethought every aspect of life, down to the smallest detail. Every day there was a battle in his mind between his instinct and his logic. He had a tendency to follow his gut on most occasions, but all too often, it proved to be the wrong choice.
Since that all important April fool’s day, he began dating someone. He felt in his heart she was the right one, but the analytical facet of his personality made him question his feelings. No matter what he did, whether it was the little presents he gave her, the out-of-the-way trips to see her, or any compliment he gave her, he felt she was in his heart, but he was unsure if he was in hers.
